when there is no Plan B!

i woke up late this morning. so late, i didn't have time to go through my wash and go routine.

all i could do was throw some spritz on my hair and slap in a headband.

this is not one of those cutesy stories where i end up saying something darling like "and the hairstyle i created out of necessity turned out to be adorable!"

no.

before the spritz and the headband, my hair looked like this when i cracked one eye open and looked in the bathroom mirror this morning:

funny, that was totally my expression...

the end result was a slightly less thirsty looking still lopsided afro with a black band around it.

by far, today was my greatest hairdo FAIL.

i have got to come up with a Plan B for hair care on mornings when i'm running late...

My Type of Christmas Giff!

ahhhh, the holidays. hot apple cider, Christmas trees, seasonal carols, sugar cookies, and (of course) the age old question most moms ask ourselves:

once it's all said and done, will i at least have enough money to buy MYSELF something that doesn't come on a dollar menu???

as if in answer to that question, i received an email today from a local natural hair care salon here in my city with some amazing news. i'd heard about this sale once or twice over the summer, spoken like an unconfirmed rumor. it is, in fact, a reality:

Miss Jessie's Christmas Special

Buy One, Get One Free for Items of Equal or Lesser Value.

November 26, 2009 - December 31, 2009

The featured products for the 2009 Christmas Special are Miss Jessie's products that are 16 oz, 12 oz and 8 oz in size.

having never tried Miss Jessie's because of the price, this is something i can honestly get behind. i mean, who WOULDN'T feel better about spending $40 for a 16 oz container when you're gonna get two? ....why yes, that was the sound of a needle scratching a record you heard when you read the words "$40 for a 16 oz container."

nonetheless, go forth and have yourself an awesome natural Christmas.

i always suspected Santa was into natural hair...

She said vs. She said.

back in the day when i was in college, i participated in a day long women's conference which focused on black women and issues affecting us. on a condition of attending for free, the conference organizers allowed students to volunteer to assist in some session (checking in attendees, scurrying about with microphones for the q&a sessions, etc.)

one of the sessions i attended was about black women and hair. and i am pretty sure that of all the women in the room, i was one of the few who had relaxed hair.

during the question and answer sessions, i noticed that a common theme kept getting aired by the attendees: natural was way better and relaxed hair was a huge indicator of the state of mind of the wearer.

and that state of mind was a disaster.

i got my turn at the mike and i asked if it didn't seem a little hypocritial to assume that a women who had relaxed hair was brainwashed when we JUST got finished talking about how women with natural hair are assumed to be angry, militant, and political.

the answer i received in return was the sound of crickets.

so here we are a good 12 years later and i'm now wearing my hair natural. and, when i think about it....i only have a few people i know who chemically relax their hair. my mom was natural and a few of my aunts have stopped relaxing their hair as well. and you know what?

none of us give a hot damn about how another woman decides to wear her hair. not even enough, really, to see Chris Rock running his trap about wigs and weaves.

yet, i'm noticing something going on amongst we black ladies out here: it feel like we're getting line up to fight about something stupid like hair texture and how we got it.

that all being said, there some i'd like to try to communicate without making people go all crazy:

there is a historical basis behind why black women started relaxing their hair in this country. am i saying a woman who relaxes her hair wants to look white? nope. i'm aware that she's a black woman who wants to look like a black woman with straight hair. but i am also aware of WHY having straight hair was so very important not so long ago in our collective history in this country. take a look at racist memorabilia in this country and see what was done to us. any one of us can tell you of an instance in which the word nappy has been used in our lives, and not in a good ass way.

i recall overhearing a white classmate in middle school who lamented, while staring in the bathroom mirror at her straight hair, "ugh! my hair looks so nappy and gross!"

while many of us can agree that you don't have to have straight hair to be considered attractive, professional, or feminine, the messages about beauty and acceptability in this country that all women receive almost constantly don't honor this idea. we get the same treatment with body type and skin tone.

that being said, I found some blogs that address the opposing sides of the Hair Texture coin and one that happily lands smack in the middle.

She Said: Can I Touch Your Hair? Black Women and the Petting Zoo

She Said: Natural Elitist: Please Sit Down and Shut Up

REF!!: Who cares if you have a perm? I don't. 

i completely agree with Assertive Wit in that we all have WAAAY too much to do than to sit around scrapping and biting at each other over our hair. like raising our children, fighting for equity in pay, getting our educations, lifting one another up, and holding it down for ourselves and ours.

we don't know each other's stories. let's just keep open minds instead of coming up with yet another false construct by which to justify our bad treatment of one another.

A convert to the Church of Our Lady of the Satin Cap

i am ready to admit it: despite my research and the numerous blogs i've read, i can admit that i have found myself behaving as if my hair is invincible in its natural state.

confession time: i don't really pay that much attention to the ends of my hair and i do NOT sleep in a satin cap.

now, to my defense i've never used a satin cap. i've been lucky that my hair when relaxed was still pretty manageable after a full night's sleep so i never really bothered. and vanity caused me to decide that i did not want to go to bed looking like Miss Jane Pitman. and by go to bed, i mean "go to bed," ya feel me?

but an incident happened this morning while showering that made my blood run cold and quickly reminded me of the benefits and prudence of wrapping one's hair at night:

i fought the terrible fight with a  pretty tenacious fairy knot.

what's that? you say you've never heard of a fairy knot? well pray you never experience it. in my mind, i imagine the fairies responsible for this hair abomination look like this:

having experienced this (and the sensation of breaking out into a cold sweat while standing in a hot shower), i am convinced. Miss Pitman was a strong, proud, and most likely fairy knot free black woman. I'm praying at the same church she prayed.

but she can keep the water fountain.

FAIL

dear woman,

even before you went too daggone far with the hair, you were committing felony fuckery with the eyelashes. I sentence you to 9 semesters of black literature studies with a concentration on The Bluest Eye and a lifetime prescription refill of Latisse.

sincerely,

everybody

When your Conditioner Tries to Give you a Complex

one of the challenges women with natural hair have is finding that *perfect* mousturizing product that's going to help fight back the frizz without leaving a greasy residue. there are various notion and potions from bargain basement prices to sell a kidney prices.

and as fall begins to settle in and winter in at the back of my mind, i'm already thinking about hot oil treatments and deep conditioning treatments. i've already gotten a recommended leave-in conditioner, but i don't understand why it has to talk to me this way....

you see that? right up there...look!...."frizzy...dry...unmanageable hair"

now listen, despite what some may say, i am not a glass is always half empty type of chick. i can totally see the flip side of the coin: you buy a product for dry hair because it's going to give you crazy moisturizing.  but that word unmanageable pushes a button.

the same button that gets pushed when, in the new Starbucks commercial, they show the people who look like their pets and the natural hair sporting black woman owns a black poodle.

some may say i sound paranoid and i'm making mountains out of molehills. but that's the funny thing about being fed a constant stream of overt and covert negative messages about your hair: after awhile, you just start seeing it everywhere.

so, while i will gladly own the descriptor "frizzy" because there are definite moments in which i look like Angela B. Davis....like now.....


i REFUSE to be labeled UNMANAGEABLE! yeah, i'm looking at you, Garnyay!....you're lucky your product is amazing and you smell so nice.

otherwise, i'd totally quit you.

A little ditty for the stranger on the bus.

there is a sort of solidarity one feels when you see another woman wearing her hair natural. maybe it's because you know not too many women choosing to no straighten their hair are receiving positive feedback. when you see other women "doing them" and being completely confident in that, it's an awesome thing.

and that is why i basically wanted to turn into a blathering fan-girl when i saw another woman on the morning express bus with some of the most amazingly spoingy, moisturized, shiny curls i have seen!! I wanted to ask her what she uses, how long she's been natural, what's her care routine, does she wrap her hair, what kinds of reactions have you gotten.....but you know, she was talking to someone and i didn't know her like that.

or at all.

But since i didn't ask these questions, i will instead devote this song to the curly stranger on the bus. Work It, Girl!

Shingling: a technique that may make your heart sing.

poking around on the youtube this evening, i decided to drop Miss Jessie's Silkening into the search box. i love watching youtube videos because there are so many women who have created helpful videos sharing their tips on styles, care, and how to choose the best products for hair texture.

i happened across a video which illustrated a technique called shingling, which apparently is one of the signature styling techniques used by the ladies at Miss Jessie's salon.

let's just say i cannot wait until i have enough hair on my head to try this out.

it.looks.AWESOME!

additional instruction can be found at the Miss Jessie's website as well. Go check it out!


* that's not shingling but i included the pic because her hair is gorgeous.

The Instyler hates your kinky hair, sis.

If there is one thing my friends no about me it's that i have a stupid weekend obsession with infomercials. i love watching these mini-tv shows, where they try to sell you cheaply made items dirt cheap (or not so dirt cheap) with the promise of satisfaction.

Most of these infomercials rope me in pretty easily, but the main thing stopping me if i'm broke: how can i buy a $290 vacuum cleaner when my water bill is late??? and everyone i've told is quite relieved to hear that i've given up my dream if making a Thanksgiving turkey in a Nu-wave convection oven.

That being said, i must admit that the infomercial for the InStyler rotating flat-iron has really, really, really, REALLY harshed my buzz. and i was finally driven to my keyboard by the cosigning of Kimberly Locke of the wonders and magic of this $300.00 $89.00 $45.00 $14.95 for 30 days hair tool.

when i started this blog, i made it clear that i'm not part of the "if you relax or straighten your hair, you're lost" movement. i believe we should make the choices that make us happy with ourselves, but that we should also we aware of the history behind why certain beauty standards prevail and what kind of messages we received about our natural selves, which originally drove the straightening of hair in African American women. if you want straight hair, fine.

just understand that straight hair is NOT more beautiful than natural hair. don't fall for the oky-doke.

yet, the people shilling the Instyler apparently didn't get this message. throughout the infomercial, naturally kinky hair gets the slam. and I mean slam! Cue Kimberly Locke:

as she sits in the chair, about to have her hair styled with the tool, the stylist talks about how her natural hair is dry and very difficult to manage, saying he has spent hours in the past trying to get her hair straight. and then he proceeds to link straight hair with hair that is pretty, shiny, and healthy. he takes one section of her natural hair and says "look how when i drop it, it just falls in a clump!" but the hair he's straightened with the Rod of God? "it falls beautifully and softly! and look how healthy* it looks!!"

and the whole time he's dogging out the hair that grows naturally from her head, she's sitting there grinning like a mook! and camera shots of the other black women (yeah, both of them) in the audience showed them shaking their damn heads in agreement. for a second, i thought the one with the extra long hair was going to get the spirit and start doing the jesus dance around the stage!

sure, sure, i know what you're saying: "doesn't it make sense for someone selling a flat-iron to speak highly of straight hair, helllloooo?"

yeah, yes it does. but that doesn't mean you have portray hair that is not naturally straight as dry, lifeless, unruly, and hard to manage. that's the same message black women have been receiving about our hair since forever and frankly, i'm over it. and i'm really irritated they found a black woman willing to put her limited star power behind the message that straight hair is better hair.

there's an 80s song that i have been caught singing on more than one occasion that has a lyric line saying "just because you're right doesn't mean i'm wrong."

there's enough room at the Beauty Bar for everyone, quit trying to elbow me back.

*if anyone can show me actual proof that applying heat directly to AA women's hair makes it more healthy by changing the structure of the curl pattern, i'll tell you to quit smoking crack. applying direct heat like that over long periods of time is damaging, period.

Ps: duh.

oh, word.

i've DEFINITELY been on the receiving end of this particular brand of fuckery. thanks for playing, though.

ya damn right, what she said.

the NY Times recently ran a piece discussing black women and hair, ostensibly attempting to break down why black women choose to either relax our hair or wear it without chemicals. one of my favorite bloggers at What Tami Said broke this article down like a raggedy lawn chair.

i am really starting to go from ambivalence to annoyance at all the discussion about black hair. when i read some articles discussing it, i keep getting that queasy feeling i had in high school when my english teacher, an older white man who'd never been inside a black church, decided to demonstrate for our class what being inside black churches was like. started off okay, and then veered off into a show of him mocking what he didn't understand, with my classmates happily playing along in the call and response.

and i sat there, the only black kid in the room, shocked and pissed.

i just had a conversation earlier this week with the Mister about black women and hair. he made comments similar to those in the NY Times article, about how all women are constantly changing their hair by getting perms, changing the color, or cutting it. i tried to explain to him that when you live in a society that tells you the hair that grows out of your hair is ugly just because it's not straight, the need and desire to conform to that standard weighs much more heavily than the desire a white woman may have to go from blond hair to red or to get a haircut.

there are plenty of black women who decide to stop relaxing their hair that describe the same feelings: relief. self-acceptance.

and there are plenty of women who relax their hair and feel the same damn way.

i just want to get to the point where we aren't constantly forced to talk about it!!

can't the hair on my head be just that, instead of the dumping ground for others' issues, demand, insecurities, and judgment?

The Big Chop...2 weeks later

so about a week and a half ago, i ended my weeks...nay...months of torture and cut off all the relaxed hair on my head.

all of it.

and i gotta admit, i don't regret it in the least.

ok, ok, let me step back a moment from my billy bad ass steeze and say how it all REALLY went down:

i went to the hairdresser with the intention of getting my hair set on small rods again. but i knew that i was in a little bit of a jam with my hair because a lot of the curls had come out and the relaxed hair was a wee bit matty.

it had been two weeks since i'd combed my hair. the situation was grim, my friends!

walking to my car, i was talking to a friend and i bounced the idea of just cutting the hair off. she cautioned me from doing something too extreme and suggested i just trim some of the perm off until i'd grown my hair some some more.

i took that into consideration, but i still planned on talking to my hairdresser about going ahead with the big chop. my main questions were this:

how much unprocessed hair do i actually have on my head and can i pull this look off without looking like The Brown Hornet?

once i got in the chair, however, i was still undecided about what to do. i was still a little skittish about getting the big chop too soon, but i was devastated about how my relaxed hair lost curl and refused to regain it, leaving me these Sylvester the Cat wings hanging off the sides of my head.

you really really really start to resent your relaxed hair while you are transitioning. funny, because it used to be that you couldn't live without your perm, every 6 weeks. now, the same thing that made your hair more manageable was fucking up your life!

....anyhoo...

any wavering i felt completely melted when my hairdresser sat me in the shampoo bowl. and started washing my hair.

well, we all know what happened next, right? large matted clots of relaxed hair. and who do you think really felt like submitting to getting those mats combed out, mats of hair that you had no intention of keeping anyway, mats of hair that betrayed your best efforts at a decent hairdo??

well, i can tell you who definitely didn't feel like it. and so i asked:

"Fran...what do you think about just cutting it off to my new growth?"

she was very positive and very supportive. and she cut my hair.

and i love it.

a quick note on my daily routine:

wet hair in the shower, apply Marc Anthony Strictly Curls Frizz Sealing Conditioner, running my ringers through to detangle and clean. let sit for about 15 minutes and then rinse with lukewarm water. shake excess water out of hair and then apply Vigorol curling mousse all over.

let air dry while getting me and kids ready for day.

it's that simple. this is my result!

if i had known how much easier cutting my hair was going to make my life, i swear i would have done it a long time ago. and at this point, i honestly cannot remember why i was so frightened.

and that is the very real, super true story of how i stumbled my way into a Big Chop.

anyone fearfully considering the Big Chop, you can do this. do your research, look at videos and photos online, and believe you can do this. you will not regret it.

before i cut my hair, i told a coworker how much i liked how Solange had cut her hair. she asked me "why don't you just go ahead and cut your hair too?" and i replied "because i'm not that brave."

huh. turns out i was.

house negros and hair politics

I haven't really talked much about the comments that were tossed around when Solange decided to cute her hair off. the way some of these negroes acted, you would have thought the woman ran around a church nekket while touching herself inappropriately with a bible!

and apparently, that church would be Our Lady of Sacred Relaxer.

It's something else when you see a people so brainwashed into thinking that black hair must be straight hair in order to make a black woman attractive. Even some black women are so dedicated to this notion, that they are willing to come down like a ton of bricks if you don't play along.

"I don't get the whole shave my head thing. It's not edgy, it's attention seeking....Personally, i keep it cut and clean. don't bring no razors near my crown."

and while still pretty negative, that's not nearly as ugly as some of the comments have been. and Solange's response to it all was what led me to start following her on Twitter.

anyway, here's a pic of what so many are talking trash about.

she looks lovely. house negroes can be some of the biggest haters, man.

what i gained when i lost hair.

today, i did it.

i cut quite a bit of my hair.

and then i had it set on small perm rods so that it looks really short.

and then i had an under the surface anxiety attack.

here's what i thought as i was turned around in the chair and faced my new look in the mirror:

oh, god i look old oh GOD i look like my mother i'm not sure i like this jesus christ i cut my hair i cut my hair do i like this am i feeling this maybe after i put on some makeup an earrings jaysus i look like my mom does this mean i picked this hairdo 30 years too early ok i got this i got this i can work this look oh dear god what have i done!

here's what the stylist said: "now THIS is cute! and when your permed hair is completely gone, your new growth is going to curl right up. it's gonna really look cute!"

here's what i said to the stylist: "it looks great!!"

i'm sure she thought the sheen in my eyes was excitement.

it was terror.

terror because when you have shorter hair, you have no place to hide, so to speak. when you have shorter hair that's not straight, you are really playing with fire.

...i got more side-eyes today from the male persuasion than usual...

As much as i told myself otherwise, i am keenly aware that long hair equals femininity. and even though i've worn my hair much much MUCH shorter than this, i still felt very self conscious about my new look.

the only thing i can think is i feel different now because my hair isn't straight. i am standing outside the beauty norms forced upon us as black women. and it is uncomfortable.

but i'm not going back.

i'll just keep wearing big earrings, eyeliner, and an highly inappropriate, merely decorative headband until the next level.

in the meantime, i found a great new hairdresser thanks to a friend's referral. and she's right next door to where i live, halleluyer!!

it's all about how ya say it!

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Co-wash? Try NO-wash.

the first time i tried Co-washing, it was a raging success...except for one tiny problem. it seemed like my hair got dirty again much more quickly than before. I can usually make it at least a week before feeling the need to wash again. That time, i felt the need again after 3 days! that was a rather annoying price to pay for the soft shiny hair i was sporting post was. I attribute this magic to Optimum Oil Recovery Condtioner I used. This stuff is magic, mineral oil not withstanding...

the second time i co-washed, i used a different conditioner. and let's just say the results are really troubling. What i was left with was hard, dry, unhappy looking hair. This is the type of result that drives women to the Big Chop because anything ANYTHING beats this crazy looking mess right here. I'm not sure if the fault lies with the condtioner or with the fact that i'm not really getting my hair as clean as i should be by simply using a conditioner. having read that most conditioners have a small amount of detergent in them to assist in cleaning, i wonder if the Silicon Mix conditioner does not.

the bottom line is, Co-washing seems to work extremely well if you use a moisture intensive conditioner. comparing the ingredients of these two products, the Optimum Oil Therapy conditioner really has the upper hand when it comes to natural oils and moisturizers.

so co-wash with care! not all conditioners are made equal and the choice you make can mean the difference between this:

and this:

no, this isn't my hair...yet.

kinks on the scalp and in the mind

"Don't remove the kinks from you hair, remove them from your brain." - Marcus Garvey

"You sho' is UGLY!" - Shug

i'm starting to understand why some people consider natural hair to be political or controversial. it all starts when someone who has his or her own thoughts about hair, beauty, gender roles, and relational norms imposes those standards onto you. and then, and here's the shell game!....when you resist that tide, BAM:

controversy.

i had a talk with the man i kiss about transitioning my hair. he took it in stride. he even told me he completely agreed with my decision to lock my hair. i thought to myself "that was probably the easiest conversation a woman has ever had about making a drastic change to her hair!"

but the one time i told him it was my intention of cutting my hair off completely, he must have blocked it from his mind. i mean i know he heard me, but as with most things that make no sense to him, he apparently just blinked through it and waited for me to stop making noise.

this past sunday, we were watching the BET awards and saw kanye west and his girlfriend amber rose. my kissing mate said "WHO is that! her hair makes her look like a dude!"

i said "you think so?"...thinking to myself with a body like that, she would never be confused with a man, but who wants to point that crap out to your kissing mate and set yourself up for sitting through an extended ogling session?....

"i was totally going to cut my hair off like that," i finished, almost offhandedly.

"yeah, right." he answered, equally offhandedly with a smattering of panic i believe i heard along the edges.

"no really! i was totally gonna..."

"YEAH.RIGHT." he finished.

which, in my mind, equated to "good day sir, I SAID GOOD DAY!"

i let it go, only because i'd changed my mind already anyway. but still.

does any other group on the face of the world get as much static about hair than the black woman? and while it's true that black men experience their own share of criticism if their hair doesn't fit a certain acceptable image (corporate fro, anyone?), i believe black women more often than others experience the critical eye when it comes to our hair length, texture, and style.

will it ever be possible to move past the belief that extremely short hair is masculine or boyish, no matter how feminine and attractive the woman beneath the scalp is? am i missing the point by wishing for this look to be socially acceptable because isn't the point to not really give a good damn what other people think so long as you like what you see?

easier said than done. no one wants to feel less attractive, let alone to their mate. and stepping outside societal norms is a little scary. ok, a lot scary. but it's a journey worth taking, in the long run.

am i right?

Before the changes

1958-2009

"her roots look as thirsty as cracked lips."

What in the world....how does a kajillionaire end up wearing a lacefront wig in this condition?? is that what's hot in the streets? what's this style called, Honey Homeless?

i just don't understand...

that sound is your hair crying out in gratitude

L'Oreal has a line of shampoos, conditioners, and other notions and potions to make your hair happy that are sulfate free....if you don't consider Sodium Lauryl Sulfoacetate a sulfate.

But rest assured, Sodium Lauryl Sulfoacetate is not the same critter as Sodium Lauryl Sulfate. But don't take my word for it, because i ain't no chemist.

Hit it, smart people:

Sodium lauryl sulfoacetate - Derived from coconut and palm oils; a safe, skin-friendly surfactant (foaming agent) for both skin and hair. This mild plant derived surfactant creates a rich, luxurious lather that effectively removes surface oil, dirt and bacteria, without stripping or drying sensitive skin. Sodium Lauryl Sulfoacetate is also hydrophilic. This means it is attracted to water, which enables it to dissolve more readily in water, thus providing superior rinseablility.

Sodium lauryl sulfoacetate vs. Sodium lauryl sulfate - Although an ingredient's name may sound similar to another, it does not mean that the molecules are similar with respect to shape, size, performance or even function. Sodium Lauryl Sulfoacetate sounds similar to Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, however, the two molecules are quite different from each other. Sodium Lauryl Sulfoacetate is a large molecule ingredient. Large molecule ingredients are considered to be mild, gentle, and non-irritating, as they cannot penetrate the skin. In contrast, Sodium Lauryl Sulfate is a small molecule ingredient, and is capable of penetrating the skin, which can increase the occurrence of skin irritation.

yeap, i'll be checking this one out too. i'll tell you what i think!

Alba Glossary

for colored girls when transitioning is not enough: ILLEGAL EDITION

Boss: can you come to my office for a moment.

Me: sure.

(later)

Boss: shut the door....i'm going to say something and i don't want you to take this the wrong way: i realize that when you have a baby, especially when you have two, you have to prioritize and spend your money money on things related to the care of the kids. but i want to take this (passes over a $50 bill) and go get your hair done.

Me:....thanks for the tip, but i won't be getting a relaxer.

Boss: you better!

Me: well, i'm not.

Boss: you better, or Pow! right in the kisser!

Me: nope, not gonna do it. but again, thanks for the tip!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
my boss has an inter-office reputation of saying and doing things that are rude, obnoxious, and inappropriate. and unfortunately, i can't honestly say this incident takes the cake when it comes to this type of workplace behavior.

but i will say this:

even though i know it happens, i don't think i really prepared myself for push back during this transition phase. and facing it like that, i was just astounded by the audacity of the words, as well as embarrassed that i had been "called out" like that. it's not the first time my hair has been thrown into the conversation pot at work, but it was definitely the least pleasant.

it is really interesting that black hair texture, the real stuff that grows out of your scalp, is only appropriate if you are male. while the conk had it's run there for a while...oh, and there was that shameful chapter in black american history called The Jheri Curl...for the most part, black men have been allowed to wear their own hair on their head with little to no static. but thanks to a beauty standard i didn't ask to adhere to, i was basically admonished by a black man that my hair needed to be done. and by done, i believe he meant straightened.

anyway, re-read the exchange. it just gets more and more curious the more you turn it over in your head.

someone, please call 911

There's a bullet in my heart and it's piercing through my soul.



Is it me, or does that first baby look like Monique in her after photo?

Jane Carter Solution! Lissen UP!

My Transition Buddy let me know she's found a product that is amazing!



Jane Carter Solution Nourish & Shine

Transition Buddy raved that it made her hair soft, shiny, and manageable. she's also very impressed that it is full of natural, healthy ingredients. She was able to find it at Whole Foods in her city and found that, even though it's a 4 oz container, it is well worth the money.

I found a product review for your consumption. LOVE this girl's hair!!!



The Jane Carter Solution

Mahogany Curls Youtube Channel

for colored girls when transitioning is not enough

picture it, Charlotte, NC, 5:00 pm, babysitter's......

Babysitter: i saw you talking to /redacted/'s mommy this morning in the driveway. how was that conversation?

Me: fine. i was talking to her about her sisterlocs.

Babysitter: oh, really?

Me: yeah. but, i do have a problem i need to talk to you about.

Babysitter: just go ahead and get a relaxer.

Me:....and the problem has nothing to do with my hair.

Babysitter: oh!

inner Me: awwwwkwarrrrrrd!

when flexi-rods go wrong

Sunday evening i decided to try to put some waves in my hair using flexi-rods. i got some Isoplus styling gel and was determined to give this style a go. i was bolstered by the fact that my Transitioning Buddy told me that bantu knot-outs were saving her life during this process. and i really felt like it was time to do something because i'm really starting to feel uncomfortable about how my hair looks day to day.

I'd watched the 15 minute Bantu Knot Out tutorial only to discover that i seem to have too many hands and arms to get the hair to successfully wrap around itself at the base. so i thought flexi-rods would be a easy alternative.

So i sat down Sunday night and while watching True Blood, began the process of twisting my hair and rolling it on the flexi-rods. at the last second, i punked out and didn't use the styling gel. and i didn't wet my hair either.

How did it turn out, you ask? GREAT!!



....if your idea of great is Roseanne Rosannadanna.

Back to the drawing board, my friends.

I'm not calling you a sucka...but....

During my research online for healthy haircare products, one concept has repeatedly come up: co-washing as opposed to shampooing.

No i must admit, upon first hearing about the concept, i was not convinced. to me, it just sounded like slathering conditioner on already dirty hair in the hope that it would somehow come clean. but testimonial after testimonial online speaks to the benefits of using a product which promotes moisture and health to clean your hair, as opposed to many of the sulfate based shampoos which can strip your hair of moisture.

It seems that getting over the notion that you have to see bubbles in the shower to produce clean, healthy hair is the ultimate hurdle.

But it's apparently possible.

So, I'd decided to give it a go, see what happens. many women online have touted conditioners easily found at Tarjay and The W as great products to use when co-washing. I figure 1) i have $5 and 2) my water is still on, so why not give it a shot this weekend!

Well, imagine my surprise when i saw an infomercial yesterday about a hair care system called WEN.



Guess what is soooooo amazing about WEN:

The WEN® Cleansing Conditioner is a revolutionary new concept in cleansing your hair that has Hollywood buzzing! It’s special because it cleanses hair thoroughly but without lathering and all the harsh ingredients that may be found in ordinary shampoos — it is designed so it won’t strip your hair and scalp of their natural oils. Your hair is left with sheen, moisture, manageability and better color retention. (Source)

and now for the final quiz question: guess how much it costs?

$29.95 plus s&h

Ok, so sure, you could spend $30 to try this "revolutionary new concept" or....and this is just a suggestion....you could spend way less on V05 Moisture Milk Conditioner, or Herbal Essence Hello Hydration, or Pantene Hydrating Curls to try a concept that the natural hair care community has been talking about for a while now.

Don't be a sucka.

Let's get this party started!

ok, actually, i got this party started in February. after a false start. see, what had happened was....

I was talking to a friend of mine around January. she was telling me about how she'd decided to go natural. this was something i have toyed with on and off since 1993, and i decided to make that move too. and i totally invited myself along for the journey. and i felt pretty good about that choice, too.

And so, on a cold day in February, i went to my my hairdresser ...The Miracle Worker...for my usual appointment and to inform him that i was not going to be getting anymore relaxers. i was RESOLUTE, i tell you!

So much so, that as i sat in the chair and he looked at me and asked "what are you getting done today," i opened my mouth and loudly, proudly proclaimed

"....i need a relaxer!!!!"

Yes, i cracked just that easily. i think my heart was even racing. i know for sure one eye was tearing up.

And that's the thing i want to address out the gate: i'm not making this change because i have a generalized, wide-sweeping opinion about whether or not black women should relax their hair. but i do have a pretty strong opinion about whether or not i need to continue to relax MY hair. i'm making this move for myself and i have concrete reasons behind it. more on that in a few...

So that is how February 20th, 2009 became the date of my last relaxer. and now that it's been almost 4 months since then, things on my head are really starting to get interesting.

stay tuned....