for colored girls when transitioning is not enough: ILLEGAL EDITION

Boss: can you come to my office for a moment.

Me: sure.

(later)

Boss: shut the door....i'm going to say something and i don't want you to take this the wrong way: i realize that when you have a baby, especially when you have two, you have to prioritize and spend your money money on things related to the care of the kids. but i want to take this (passes over a $50 bill) and go get your hair done.

Me:....thanks for the tip, but i won't be getting a relaxer.

Boss: you better!

Me: well, i'm not.

Boss: you better, or Pow! right in the kisser!

Me: nope, not gonna do it. but again, thanks for the tip!
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my boss has an inter-office reputation of saying and doing things that are rude, obnoxious, and inappropriate. and unfortunately, i can't honestly say this incident takes the cake when it comes to this type of workplace behavior.

but i will say this:

even though i know it happens, i don't think i really prepared myself for push back during this transition phase. and facing it like that, i was just astounded by the audacity of the words, as well as embarrassed that i had been "called out" like that. it's not the first time my hair has been thrown into the conversation pot at work, but it was definitely the least pleasant.

it is really interesting that black hair texture, the real stuff that grows out of your scalp, is only appropriate if you are male. while the conk had it's run there for a while...oh, and there was that shameful chapter in black american history called The Jheri Curl...for the most part, black men have been allowed to wear their own hair on their head with little to no static. but thanks to a beauty standard i didn't ask to adhere to, i was basically admonished by a black man that my hair needed to be done. and by done, i believe he meant straightened.

anyway, re-read the exchange. it just gets more and more curious the more you turn it over in your head.