Monday, October 19, 2009

A convert to the Church of Our Lady of the Satin Cap

i am ready to admit it: despite my research and the numerous blogs i've read, i can admit that i have found myself behaving as if my hair is invincible in its natural state.

confession time: i don't really pay that much attention to the ends of my hair and i do NOT sleep in a satin cap.

now, to my defense i've never used a satin cap. i've been lucky that my hair when relaxed was still pretty manageable after a full night's sleep so i never really bothered. and vanity caused me to decide that i did not want to go to bed looking like Miss Jane Pitman. and by go to bed, i mean "go to bed," ya feel me?

but an incident happened this morning while showering that made my blood run cold and quickly reminded me of the benefits and prudence of wrapping one's hair at night:

i fought the terrible fight with a  pretty tenacious fairy knot.

what's that? you say you've never heard of a fairy knot? well pray you never experience it. in my mind, i imagine the fairies responsible for this hair abomination look like this:


having experienced this (and the sensation of breaking out into a cold sweat while standing in a hot shower), i am convinced. Miss Pitman was a strong, proud, and most likely fairy knot free black woman. I'm praying at the same church she prayed.

but she can keep the water fountain.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

FAIL

dear woman,

even before you went too daggone far with the hair, you were committing felony fuckery with the eyelashes. I sentence you to 9 semesters of black literature studies with a concentration on The Bluest Eye and a lifetime prescription refill of Latisse.

sincerely,

everybody

Sunday, October 4, 2009

When your Conditioner Tries to Give you a Complex

one of the challenges women with natural hair have is finding that *perfect* mousturizing product that's going to help fight back the frizz without leaving a greasy residue. there are various notion and potions from bargain basement prices to sell a kidney prices.

and as fall begins to settle in and winter in at the back of my mind, i'm already thinking about hot oil treatments and deep conditioning treatments. i've already gotten a recommended leave-in conditioner, but i don't understand why it has to talk to me this way....




you see that? right up there...look!...."frizzy...dry...unmanageable hair"

now listen, despite what some may say, i am not a glass is always half empty type of chick. i can totally see the flip side of the coin: you buy a product for dry hair because it's going to give you crazy moisturizing.  but that word unmanageable pushes a button.

the same button that gets pushed when, in the new Starbucks commercial, they show the people who look like their pets and the natural hair sporting black woman owns a black poodle.

some may say i sound paranoid and i'm making mountains out of molehills. but that's the funny thing about being fed a constant stream of overt and covert negative messages about your hair: after awhile, you just start seeing it everywhere.

so, while i will gladly own the descriptor "frizzy" because there are definite moments in which i look like Angela B. Davis....like now.....


i REFUSE to be labeled UNMANAGEABLE! yeah, i'm looking at you, Garnyay!....you're lucky your product is amazing and you smell so nice.

otherwise, i'd totally quit you.