A little ditty for the stranger on the bus.

there is a sort of solidarity one feels when you see another woman wearing her hair natural. maybe it's because you know not too many women choosing to no straighten their hair are receiving positive feedback. when you see other women "doing them" and being completely confident in that, it's an awesome thing.

and that is why i basically wanted to turn into a blathering fan-girl when i saw another woman on the morning express bus with some of the most amazingly spoingy, moisturized, shiny curls i have seen!! I wanted to ask her what she uses, how long she's been natural, what's her care routine, does she wrap her hair, what kinds of reactions have you gotten.....but you know, she was talking to someone and i didn't know her like that.

or at all.

But since i didn't ask these questions, i will instead devote this song to the curly stranger on the bus. Work It, Girl!

house negros and hair politics

I haven't really talked much about the comments that were tossed around when Solange decided to cute her hair off. the way some of these negroes acted, you would have thought the woman ran around a church nekket while touching herself inappropriately with a bible!

and apparently, that church would be Our Lady of Sacred Relaxer.

It's something else when you see a people so brainwashed into thinking that black hair must be straight hair in order to make a black woman attractive. Even some black women are so dedicated to this notion, that they are willing to come down like a ton of bricks if you don't play along.

"I don't get the whole shave my head thing. It's not edgy, it's attention seeking....Personally, i keep it cut and clean. don't bring no razors near my crown."

and while still pretty negative, that's not nearly as ugly as some of the comments have been. and Solange's response to it all was what led me to start following her on Twitter.

anyway, here's a pic of what so many are talking trash about.

she looks lovely. house negroes can be some of the biggest haters, man.

what i gained when i lost hair.

today, i did it.

i cut quite a bit of my hair.

and then i had it set on small perm rods so that it looks really short.

and then i had an under the surface anxiety attack.

here's what i thought as i was turned around in the chair and faced my new look in the mirror:

oh, god i look old oh GOD i look like my mother i'm not sure i like this jesus christ i cut my hair i cut my hair do i like this am i feeling this maybe after i put on some makeup an earrings jaysus i look like my mom does this mean i picked this hairdo 30 years too early ok i got this i got this i can work this look oh dear god what have i done!

here's what the stylist said: "now THIS is cute! and when your permed hair is completely gone, your new growth is going to curl right up. it's gonna really look cute!"

here's what i said to the stylist: "it looks great!!"

i'm sure she thought the sheen in my eyes was excitement.

it was terror.

terror because when you have shorter hair, you have no place to hide, so to speak. when you have shorter hair that's not straight, you are really playing with fire.

...i got more side-eyes today from the male persuasion than usual...

As much as i told myself otherwise, i am keenly aware that long hair equals femininity. and even though i've worn my hair much much MUCH shorter than this, i still felt very self conscious about my new look.

the only thing i can think is i feel different now because my hair isn't straight. i am standing outside the beauty norms forced upon us as black women. and it is uncomfortable.

but i'm not going back.

i'll just keep wearing big earrings, eyeliner, and an highly inappropriate, merely decorative headband until the next level.

in the meantime, i found a great new hairdresser thanks to a friend's referral. and she's right next door to where i live, halleluyer!!